For years I bought into a fallacious ideology. I repeated it to myself day in, day out, telling myself it was the only explanation for the beautiful stories that turned sour. I preached it from the rooftops and did not miss an opportunity to enlighten everyone I came across. I did not want them to walk around with flowery thoughts of love, thinking it was all that they needed to feel seen and known, so I told them, with the greatest passion I could muster, that love is not enough. I argued it could never be enough, and when people seemed to be optimistic, I gave them all the reasons why it could never be enough.
It has been years and through no direct effort of my own, I am coming to an enlightening – an enlightening to the sufficiency of love; an awakening to how enough love is. So many times, we say love is not enough because in our human-limited minds and due to our selfish nature, we cannot fathom the idea that something as simple-sounding as love is everything. We assume love is about the butterflies in the tummy, and that when those butterflies fail to flutter, it means love has left the room. But what we fail to understand is the depth to which genuine love runs – how it fills every encounter with respect; how it empowers and releases us to be greater than we ever thought possible; how it searches deep within to reveal joyful parts of ourselves that we did not even know existed; how it takes us from a selfish stance to a position where we desire to please the one we love, not with the aim of convincing them to love us back, but with the desire to see them smile.
I have spent a lot of time in November reflecting on my beliefs and the ideologies I peddle out, and this one is one that really stuck out for me. We often say love is not enough in two situations: 1.) When love is not mutual and we are too afraid to accept this fact and 2.) when love is not genuine and to make up for this, we try to split it into many independent parts.
When love is not mutual, it hurts, and because it hurts, we say it is not enough to build anything substantial. When love is not genuine, we split it. We say love is not enough. We claim it needs respect, support and a partner who puts in the effort as accessories. But how are these things independent of love. If respect, support and effort are absent from love, is it really love? If our relationship decisions are from a selfish standpoint, to satisfy our selfish desires, can we really say it’s love?
Love is all-encompassing. It is gentle and kind even in the most heated moments. It does not give up. It sees the flaws but chooses to focus on the flawless parts. It makes us grow. It makes us feels feel seen and known. It brings us joy. Yes, even in love we are not always happy, but deep within the cloud of unhappiness, we know there is joy, genuine admiration, support, respect, and peace. Love feels like home. It’s where we give and give, but never feel like we are losing anything, because just as much as we give, we are given in return.
I have come to the conclusion that love is enough because it has everything we deeply yearn for.