Can We Just Go Back To the Good Old Days?

I’m in my twenties and already I miss the good old days. If I am feeling so much nostalgia for how things were done back then, I wonder how people in their forties feel.

It has really been a long time since I watched a man woo a woman with so much dedication, her heart skipped for joy whenever she heard his name. It has been a really long time since I’ve seen genuine affection between two people rather than the grudgingly offered acts of service, or displays of affection staged to fool everyone on social networks. Sometimes I find myself wondering what on earth happened to all those days when guys stood outside and held boom boxes in the air, or threw pebbles at windows just to say goodnight on their way home from work.

Perhaps that is why we were all so endeared to Edward Cullen in Twilight. His eyes were not just compelling, irresistible, captivating, charming, appealing… (Yes, I can describe those eyes in a hundred and one adjectives), his attitude towards Bella melted my heart. Before he wooed her, he protected her, while he was wooing her, he looked out for her. He defended her when the need arose, and he treated her like the dainty flower she was. Why can’t we have Edward Cullens anymore? Have all the chivalrous men been converted to vampires? Because if that’s the case, we may need to start considering our conversion options as women.

These days all I hear is “you are not submissive; submit! Submit! Submit!!! To who, and for what? What exactly has this person done to melt my heart to the point where I want to submit myself to him body and soul? Has he protected me? Has he defended me? Has he looked out for my interest? Has he respected my body? Has he treated me like the delicate flower I am? Has he respected my heart? Has he loved me so much, I feel like my heart will stop beating if he ever mentions leaving to a different place?

These days all I hear is “Go with the flow.” What flow exactly? Oh yea! That flow…

Boy meets girl; boy thinks girl is hot; boy flirts with girl and girl flirts back; boy wants to have sex so he impresses girl with a couple of dates and buys girl Brazilian hair. Given that many chivalrous men are hiding in caves somewhere (and really, I think we should go on the ultimate search to discover their hiding place), girl is impressed by a couple of dates and a pack of Brazilian hair. Boy makes move, girl acts unsure; boy throws indirect shade at girl for being a prude, girl gives in. Boy sees girl a few more times, has sex a few more times, and finally turns girl to a booty call, until girl realizes she’s not the only one who got Brazilian hair and a couple of dates. Girl puts herself back on the market, and vows never to go down that road of stupidity ever again. Unfortunately, the same cycle repeats itself with two or more boys until girl eventually finds someone who’s somewhat committed to having a decent relationship.

This person comes in all serious, discussing marriage and spewing all the right kind of jargon girl has been dying to hear. So girl jumps in, ready to make this work. But there’s a problem: He sees no reason to go on dates, give gifts, or even defend girl. At least he’s talking marriage, so girl tells herself all those things her heart yearns for are unnecessary. And yes, he will never stop telling girl to submit; and she does… until she realizes she’s lost herself to someone who did nothing to win her heart, yet expects her heart to be dedicated to him. Divorce bells ring; girl wants out. Yea… that flow leads nowhere eventually.

Can we go back to the days when men and women exchanged letters to declare their love? Those days when men wrote first, and women giggled and blushed for days from the poetic flow of their words? Can we go back to the days when men picked women up for dates rather than tell them to meet them at the restaurant? Can we go back to those days when men did not ask for submission but they got it because they earned it? Can we go back to the days when men asked for the permission of fathers before they took their daughters on dates? Those days when men knew sex was not on the table yet they wanted to be with this gorgeous, delicate yet strong flower just to know her thoughts on quantum physics (haha! Gotcha!). But really, can we go back to the days when men called just to speak for hours? Not these days when they send smileys, WhatsApp messages, and the occasional text message. Urrgh… how I hate modern technology! Can we go back to the good old days when sex was actually a big deal, and men did not go around broadcasting their conquests to their friends in a bid to slut shame the woman for engaging in the exact same deed? Those days when sex meant something special to BOTH the man and the woman? Can we go back to the days when men were dedicated to genuinely winning a woman’s heart, they put a lot of effort into it, hence found it hard to toy with such a woman after sweeping her off her feet?

Imagine if we went back to the days when men truly loved women like they loved their own body, where men protected women, defended their honour, respected their values, and gave flowers just because… Imagine if we went back to the days when women shunned disrespectful men, and held themselves in such high esteem, cheap words and an expensive bottle of wine were not sufficient to cause a classic panty-dropping dance?

Oh! I miss the good old days; I miss phone calls; I miss love letters; I miss days when men made women blush because they were downright sincere. I’m so nostalgic right now, I might start weeping for our generation and generations to come.

I have decided I want Edward Cullen; I want that protection, that respect, that value, the desire, the understanding of my genuine brand of sophisticated madness.  No, I don’t want surprise visits by the window in the dead of the night. Heart attacks are real, and there’s a chance you will get shot by security guards, so let’s keep things legit.  I want to be wooed properly. Deep down every woman wants to be wooed properly, to be delicate yet strong; to be pampered; to be genuinely loved.

Can all the Edward Cullens in hiding step out in the open please?

2 thoughts on “Can We Just Go Back To the Good Old Days?

  1. You know you are right. I am in my 60s and I still get “what up” texts. And it took a few of these before I said “not a damn thing!”. It’s like you said: “Imagine if we went back to the days when women shunned disrespectful men, and held themselves in such high esteem, cheap words and an expensive bottle of wine were not sufficient to cause a classic panty-dropping dance?” Good thing you are figuring it out now.

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