I Just Can’t Find a Wife!


This is the song many men that claim they’d like to be married are singing… “I just can’t find a wife, so many ladies are deceitful. Too many ladies ‘have been around’ and those that seem good enough to marry are so unapproachable or uninterested.”

Ok guys… I hear you. It is easy to find a girlfriend, date her for five years or more, wake up one morning and have an epiphany that she just doesn’t fit into your future dream- she’s too lazy, she’s too fat, she farts when she sleeps, she dresses too simply, she’s too intelligent, she looks like a snob, my friends don’t get her, she is too talkative, she is too serious, she is just too much….If i hear one more complaint along these lines, I’ll have a fit! Jeez! I thought women were the queens of complaints. Clearly, I was wrong.

One of my male friends recently asked me…”How do I find my wife?” It seemed like a difficult question considering I am not on talking terms with cupid. however, I offered him some tips which I am about to regurgitate in this post. Hopefully, many young men in the “i can’t find a wife” boat will relate well with them.

#1 Stop Making Excuses! So many young men today dwell in the valley of excuses when it comes to not being able to approach a certain girl or not being able to commit. “Her face is just so discouraging, she hardly smiles”. I have gotten this so many times, I started to wonder if I ought to walk around with a smile constantly plastered on my face like i just had botoxNancy_Pelosi_Botox_Smile I mean seriously? What does her face have to do with anything? You like her, strap on a pair or ten pairs if you feel you’ll need them and just say a few words to her- a compliment, pleasantries, a comment about the weather….the worst she can do is show you she’s engaged.

#2 Stop Acting Like the Prize!!! Oh my! I can write a whole book on this one. I don’t know if it’s the psychological imbalance in society or the fact that many women carry the desperation billboards on their foreheads but many men approach women with the wrong mindset. They assume if she is in her mid or late twenties or thirties, she is definitely looking for a husband and they are the best offer on the table. So instead of a “Hello miss, How are you?”, they start off with the “Hey, I’m Mr X, and it would be in your best interest to know me.” Well, not those exact words but you get the point. No self-respecting lady would respond well to that. I met a guy like that, that even took it upon himself to point out to me that my mates were married while I was busy pursuing another degree. Oh well, his ass is roasting nicely on the curb now.


#3 Learn the art of woo-ing I must confess now that I judge every lady that goes into a relationship with a man without being wooed. Yes, you can snarl at me, but i think it is the one phase every woman should let herself enjoy and it is the one skill every man should learn. I get shock waves when guys meet a girl at a party, ask her out to dinner, go on one date and then get upset that she is just not that into them. What happened to taking your time to woo the lady you claim to like? Why do men just expect women to fall into their laps like over-ripe fruits fall to the ground? Learn to woo! A compliment here and there, a thoughtful gesture, fun conversations…. you are the guys, you should know all these things! My interpretation of Woman? Someone a man should woo. Get it? I hope so!

Image (132)

#4 Girls don’t like bad boys It is popular belief that many women like to hang out with bad boys and get hurt over and over again. Well, this is definitely not the case! I’ll try to explain why it seems that way. Many women don’t like wimps! Yes, you read right, no one wants a wimp. Many guys, in their efforts to portray themselves as good men, act like spiders on remote-controlled roller skates, no balance of any sort, just ready to go in whatever direction the miss pushes you. Jeez! the only kind of women that will be super happy living with that are women with control issues.So before you start lamenting about how your ‘goodness’ puts women off, know this…it is not the ‘bad-ness’ in bad boys that we like, it’s the assertive-ness (and I don’t mean that in an abusive way; so don’t go slap some girl and wake up in a hospital bed three weeks later. Yes, some women can induce comas with one slap, don’t push).

#5 You are not her god I used to think women were the ones that liked to be worshipped and treated like eggs but seriously, my research has shown that men take the cake when it comes to this. These days, men expect a woman to prove she is worthy of attaining ‘his wife’s status’. She has to cook, clean his crib, wash his clothes, watch his friends mess everything up and clean up after them. Again, no self-respecting lady would do all this for you simply because you are dangling a ring in front of her eyes. donkeymotivation WE ARE NOT DONKEYS!!!!

You either want to marry a girl or you don’t. Using a carrot and stick approach is so unacceptable!!! These days, men say “If she can’t cook my meals, wash my clothes and clean my crib, she’s stuck up and spoilt and I just can’t marry her.” OOOOH I’m scared of being alone. *cyber shivering*.

If you are truly looking for a wife, I suggest you get cleansed from such thoughts. Yes, women want to be married and sadly, a number of women would do anything to be named Mrs, but bear in mind, many women who appreciate themselves are not willing to roll in the mud just so they can give up their last name.

8 thoughts on “I Just Can’t Find a Wife!

  1. while were lumping all men into categories like lazy ignorant and self centered. can we take a moment to acknowledge that many women are just as guilty of these same faults. and that dispite best efforts of some men . efforts to woo and follow the standard script go unrewarded or unnoticed in many cases .
    can we acknowledge that a 70%-80% of men are simply invisible to women regardless of how they carry themselfs. while these same women continue to lament the lack of of “good” men . it might be time to take stock of the gender gap in dating, as a contributing factor as well.


    1. This is interesting and true in many cases. Some men put in their best efforts to woo women and go unnoticed. While this may be due to a self-centered approach on the woman’s part, it might also be that the said woman just does not like the man who is wooing her. In that case, I advice my male friends to let those women go and go for women who like them. Why woo a lazy, self-centered woman in the first place yea?


Comments are closed.