Everyone wants to be loved; there is no doubt about that- the most socially awkward people, the stone-hearted boss that wouldn’t care if you get hit by a train as long as she gets her coffee on time, the homeless guy watching as people happily walk past…everyone craves to be loved. And the truth is, many of us are loved- we have family members that may not speak to us everyday but get depressed whenever we are unhappy, friends who like to share our pain and sit next to us, handing us tissues while we cry our eyes out over that relationship that was supposed to lead down the aisle but just didn’t work out….. Many of us are loved but for some reason, we are willing to forget that all for the sake of an underserving partner
Yes, I know you are thinking what the angle to this post is. What are you waiting for? Read on!
During a discussion with a group of friends, I got infuriated (to put it lightly) about how everyone was lamenting about the one guy that took them to the highest mountain, showed them the world and in an instant pushed them down with a grin on his face. Phrases like “He didn’t always treat me right but when he did…” “I knew he was horrible but I just had to make it work….” “You can’t choose how you act when you are in love..” *YAWN* Wake me up when the melodrama is over.
Why do women act like they have no roots? I mean seriously, why do we go into relationships with someone that is not an inch deserving of us and we hold on tight like if he walks out the door, the black cloak of death will suddenly be over us and our souls will be sailing in the sea of lost hearts? While my friends wemt on and on about how they just want to be loved by this guy, I watched “Come dine with me” and had an amazing laugh. Needless to say I was not going to join the pathetic love pity party. Why? I know where I come from and the calibre of people that value me.
That was my question to them when ‘Come dine with me’ unfortunately ended. “Do you have family?” “Do you have friends?” “Do you get showered, sprayed, sprinkled, soaked and even submerged by the love these people have to show you? ALL answers were affirmative and that led to my next question “Then why do you let some guy with the emotional maturity range of a teaspoon drag you through the mud, kick you into the ground and still have you chasing after him like he holds the air you’re breathing?”
I’d never understand why we do that. I’m not judging; I’ve also done all that before but one day I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror, I noticed how beautiful God made me, I looked at my phone records- my family members call me almost everyday to check on me, fill me in on what’s happening at home and simply just tell me they miss me and would love to have me home for the holidays. I thought about my many friends that encouraged me when the walls of life closed in on me and through prayers and motivation, we pushed the walls apart so I could breathe easy. I even thought of my church members that had compliments for or just a reassuring hug after the service and the many “God bless you” “Have a super dupa week” and “Drive safe” statements that accompanied warm goodbyes and then it hit me. I was worth more to many others but I chose to stick with the one person that didn’t care about the fact that I was a rare gem. I chose to be with someone that did not hesitate to use derogatory words all in the name of anger, someone who could not even introduce me as the girl in his life but rather I was a ‘friend’, someone who probably wouldn’t have cared if I started dating someone else, someone who simply did not care, period!
It’s time to stop all that thirst! It’s self-created and not healthy. When you project a ‘thirsty for love’ outlook, it is only normal that an undeserving guy will perceive himself as your saviour and end up treating you like a piece of rag. There are many people out there who love you; key into that love and stop chasing after one person who does not care! xoxo