These days, I see women thrown from one relationship to another, not exactly sure of who they are and worse, not knowing for sure what they deserve. I see many females, in a bid not be called gold-diggers settling for what I can only describe as rotten wood or perhaps sawdust that can be blown away and scattered by the wind in a matter of seconds…. Afterall, if he’s not poor and struggling to make ends meet, he is not a good guy….right? Right????
Why is it that it’s called gold-digging when a woman chooses to go for a man who has everything she has and more but when a man does it, it’s called true love? Why is that we women fail to realize who we are and what we deserve, and instead live our lives trying to satisfy the requirements of society? What is gold digging anyway? Is it having a college degree,a professional job, being able to afford your own home, a car, having substantial savings in the bank and wanting a man who has the same?
If you are a woman who has managed to pull through the adversaries of life, the stress of making a name for yourself, building a career and pushing hard to be better every time, then really, you should be a ‘Gold-digger’. By Gold digging, I don’t mean you need to go after his wallet, you already have yours. But you need to have someone who shares the same values as you do, someone who you are intellectually compatible with and someone who you are financially compatible with. You might wonder at the term “financial compatibility” but trust me it is important. We all know that love and kisses don’t pay anyone’s bills and money is one of the major reasons couples fight. Why then would you want to settle for a man who does not contribute to your wellbeing in any way, a man who sits on the couch all day and tells you he’s trying to become the next David Guetta yet you don’t hear any beats from his computer? A man who sits around and does nothing all day, waiting for you to work your ass off, bring the money home so he can buy the latest Lacoste sneakers? You settle for such a man and then get mad at the world and even at him for not trying to make something of himself. Hellooooo…you chose to settle for him, knowing he is not driven in any way, knowing he is blind when it comes to vision and knowing for sure that he is willing to let you be the sole provider.
When i say “dig for gold”, I mean dig for a man with substance! Any man can sit in a flashy car and wear an expensive Armani suit but not many men have visions or dreams. Many of them don’t even have a steady source of income. Like my girls would say, they are hustlers, looking for a chic that’s willing to ride the wave for just the moment. They have no interest in your future dreams and aspirations nor do they have any interest in helping you become the best you can be. Money is all they can offer and that’s just it.
Dig for a man who is profound with his thoughts, a man who is able to be your man (not ‘every woman on the street’s’ man), dig for a man who you can connect with not just sexually – intellectual connection is important too otherwise the relationship will be characterised by many baseless arguments that do not make any sense. Dig for a man with a good heart, a man who can look after you even though you have your own source of income. Remember, before God gave Eve to Adam, he gave Adam a job – to name the animals and to tend to the Garden of Eden. The job paid Adam with accommodation and food which was all he needed! A man’s role is to provide and protect. a woman’s role is to support and provide comfort in hard times.
While you are in search of all these, don’t be an idle woman too! An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Eve was idle, walking around the garden with nothing to do, while Adam was tending to it which is why the devil was able to tempt her with the forbidden fruit. If Adam had been the idle one, he most likely would have been the easy target. Don’t be one of those women that walk around with painted faces but no substance. In other words, don’t be a fancy container with no contents.
Like calls to Like. If you are made of gold, you will certainly attract gold or something much better. Go for a man who cares about your soul, your body, your dreams, your aspirations… a man that won’t stifle you or make you less of who and what ought you to be. That is real gold right there!